The Moment I Realized I wasn't Fully Operating In My Authenticity.. My Feminine Energy Journey.

Dear, Sis

This journey is definitely not for the weak or the weary. Some days I feel so invigorated with life and possibilities. Then there are other days where I feel lackluster and empty. I think it’s because I’m in the process of letting go of the old limiting beliefs of needing to be validated to believe that I know what I’m doing. That part of me likes to rear its little head just when I think I have it all figured out. 

I felt like a quitter briefly as I tabled selling my candles temporarily. I have so many ideas that I want to implement but I can’t realistically do it all at once. That’s how I find myself back into being burnt out and overwhelmed. So I’m just taking the time to focus on pushing my e-workbook The Soft Girl Era and my community Attract Your Tribe. But, honestly I get frustrated because I don’t see any motion. Am I not being authentic enough? Do I not seem genuine?

I’m really invested in healing myself and other black women but I don’t know if I’m reaching any of you. I feel like I keep facing the same tumbling block and that’s not attracting the right people. I keep attracting the ones who feel like they’re doing the right thing by me by entertaining my community or liking the post about my workbook but won’t engage in the community and try the workbook. They aren’t seeking my help, motivation, or connection but they can’t seem to tell me no or that they're not interested.

I think I have more work to do. I think I’m going to work on Week 3 & 4 of The Soft Girl Era: “Reclaiming Intuition & Inner Guidance" and “Embodying Feminine Confidence”. I really want to get deep and tap into moving intuitively to attract my tribe (no pun intended). Working on embodying my feminine confidence will allow me to be more certain and sound in my messaging and what my purpose truly is. I mean I am confident but I can admit I’ve still been holding back a lot of what needs to be said due to ruffling feathers but maybe that’s what I’m being called to do.. Ruffle feathers. As long as it’s out of love and intentional then I don’t need to second guess it.

I suppose this is the process of finding and defining your voice. You may have to do some fine tuning and repositioning until you’re clear on what you have to say and confident in what you’re saying. I’m trying to hold space for people but I’m not taking the time to hold that space with me. I keep having to tell myself: “It’s okay to be the villain in their story”. I'm now realizing that holding back is just as disingenuous as not being honest. How can I expect to attract people who are genuine and authentic if I'm not showing up fully as myself? I believe we all in some shape and form battle the idea that authenticity is somehow perfectionism.. or is it just me, lol. But I'm gaining more and more clarity on this feminine energy journey that being authentic is about being true to you in that moment even if you make a mistake.

Because who's to say that mistake wasn't supposed to happen. Then could we even call it a mistake? I guess, what I'm trying to say is, if we're committed and consistently operating as our true selves then even when we think or believe we got it wrong, we really didn't. We acted in our true form and with what may seem like an error it's just simply our lesson that we're supposed to get. Sometimes I can feel so frighten about getting it wrong but that's what's truly holding me back from really being free in who I am. I am not my thoughts or emotions because they evolve and change at any given moment as I evolve and change. I realize the more I attach myself to anything other than being my authentic self is what has me second guessing. It's time for me to be true to me and attract who and what aligns or serves me during this journey. I have to start flowing in the direction that's natural to me and speaking in a voice that's authentic to me. Even if that means I have to learn some lessons along the way, apologize, or redirect because it's all apart of my journey and if it's natural and authentic none of it should have resentment or resistance in doing so.

So, with that being said, even if you don't join me and purchase my The Soft Girl Era e-workbook, here are some simple steps in stepping into your authentic self by tapping into your feminine energy:

1. Stop Over Thinking: Stop thinking about every little thing when it comes to stepping into your authentic self. Feminine energy is all about flow and doing what comes natural, not impulsive, but natural. It's as if doing anything else differently seems forced or watered down and what flows to you keeps nagging you like itch you can't scratch until you finally stop controlling and finally let it flow. Then you say," Why didn't I do this sooner"?

2. Stop Attaching Yourself To Thoughts & Emotions: Where you do want to feel your emotions and acknowledge your thoughts, you don't want to attach yourself to them because we go through thousands or more emotions a day. The same thing with our thoughts. We have these thoughts, theories, or ideas and want to hold on to them so tightly, even though we can feel we've outgrown them. We see examples of this online daily when you see people fighting so strongly over a side because this is all they knew and to change would seem as if they're "switching up". When in reality they've simply grown, outgrown from that mindset or outgrew from that person. So when we look at our thoughts and emotions as simply our thoughts and emotions to where we are presently, be it mentally or emotionally, we don't hold such an attachment to it defining who we are as a whole.

3. Stop Being A Perfectionist: Let go of the idea of being right all of the time. You can't operate in your authenticity if you're steadily trying to make sure you portray this perfect image or representation. Authenticity isn't being perfect it's being you whether you're right, wrong, or indifferent. We're not always going to get it right and that's apart of the journey, the lessons. We don't grow without the lessons. To be truthful a lot of our perfectionism comes from a level of judgment. We feel like we're going to be judged because we judge others, instead of accepting people for who they are. Yes, we may be on different paths but we're all trying to figure it out. Show yourself some grace and you'll begin to show the same for others. Then you'll be less likely to think that you have to be perfect because none of us are above reproach. Authentic people honestly gravitate to people who can speak on their faults and the error of their ways.. because it's authentic.

Well here’s to Sunday and going back to reclaiming my intuition and embodying my confidence. Here's to me learning that I wasn't being genuine with myself and learning that I have more lessons to learn and growing to do. Here's to me being authentic with you.

Peace & Blessings,

Melissa Renee