DEAR SIS... I CHOSE ME, FINALLY.

Hey Sis,

Have you ever reached a point where you feel something has completed? Not life itself — but a chapter that needed to end a long time ago.

That’s where I’ve been this past week. There is this new confidence running through me — not loud, not performative — just… rooted. I feel like I finally chose myself.

And choosing myself meant making decisions that weren’t easy, but necessary. I used to obsess over how my choices would make others feel. I used to prioritize peace for everyone but me. Not anymore.

A Shift in My Mission

As I’ve been stepping deeper into my role as a feminine energy coach, I realized something: My voice belongs to the women who are ready to stop shrinking and start living as themselves.

When I first started this journey, I wanted to talk to Black women who were operating mostly in masculine energy — because I’d been Her. But something felt unfinished, incomplete.

Now I know what was missing: Softness around authenticity. Safety around being seen. A space where walls can fall long enough for us to remember who we are.

And that’s where this new chapter begins — coaching Black women not just toward softness, but toward authentic softness. The kind rooted in truth, not performance. The kind that lets you breathe in your own wholeness.

Choosing Myself Out Loud

I’m finding peace with just being me. Fully. I’m no longer holding the weight of who I might offend.

I’m no longer contorting myself to be digestible.

It feels like freedom — even when it’s uncomfortable. Because every challenge now feels like a test: “Will you shrink back into who you were trained to be, or will you stand as who you are becoming?”

For so long, “safe” meant not ruffling feathers. Making sure everyone else felt seen before I allowed myself to be seen. I feared my light would make others feel small. I feared being labeled egotistical, attention-seeking, “too much.”

And that fear kept me quiet. Kept me small. Kept me distracted from me.

The Noise in My Head

I battled the noise — the voice that tried to “protect” me by shrinking me. But I realized something: If shrinking keeps me depleted, it’s not protection — it’s suffocation.

And I got tired. Tired of being drained. Tired of giving from empty. Tired of dimming to make others comfortable in their shadows.

So I told myself:

“If you’re going to be unhappy by being who they want, while they still don’t like you… then be happy, alone, and be yourself.”

And that was my turning point.

Coming Home to Me

This journey into feminine energy taught me where my power really lives —inside, not outside.

I realized I love who I am — deeply. And when I feel doubt creeping in, it’s only because the space isn’t safe for my truth, not because my truth lacks value.

I’m not shrinking anymore. If it needs to be said, I’ll say it. If it needs to be done, I’ll do it. I am not second-guessing myself to make others comfortable.

Feminine energy has shown me that when I stand in my authenticity, I don’t chase belonging — I attract alignment.

And the funny thing? What I feared — the unknown of being fully me —was actually my freedom. A breath I didn’t know I’d been holding finally released.

Being vulnerable doesn’t expose me —it elevates me. It is one of my superpowers.

Letter to You, Sis

If you’re in a season where you’re choosing yourself — even if your voice shakes, even if you’re doing it alone — I see you.

May you choose you without guilt. May you remember that shrinking is not humility — it’s self-abandonment. And may you breathe deeply into the woman you are becoming.

You are not “too much. ”You are not wrong for expanding. It’s safe to be seen. It’s safe to shine.

You deserve that freedom too.

Reflection Prompt

Where in your life are you still shrinking, and what part of you is ready to finally choose yourself?

If this spoke to you…

Join me inside The Soft N’ Black Collective — where we learn how to feel safe in our truth, soften without shrinking, and rise rooted in who we truly are.

And if you’re stepping into this chapter and want support on your journey, schedule a free 20-minute clarity call with me. Let’s walk this homecoming together.

Here’s to choosing you — softly, boldly, fully. 🤎