Dear Sis.. I FORGOT I WAS FINE, AGAIN

Hey, Sis,

Listen… this week brought a lot of clarity and revelations. I know, at this point, you’re probably saying to yourself, “Chiiile, that’s every week lately.” And it is — and I’m glad about it. That means I’m doing something right. That, and I did call on my spiritual guides for their help.

Let me get straight to it: I forgot who I was for a long time. In the words of Erykah Badu, “I forgot I was fine.” And because I forgot, I was navigating my life with little to no certainty. But I’m here today to say — I REMEMBER. And I hope I never forget again.

And because I forgot, I was navigating my life with little to no certainty. But I’m here today to say — I REMEMBER. And I hope I never forget again.

Seeing Myself Clearly Again

When I reflect now, it’s not always about self-improvement. Sometimes it’s about recognizing what already makes me me. I realize I don’t do that enough — celebrate myself. Why am I so reluctant to toot my own horn? “Maybe I’m not that amazing?” But then again, based on who or what?

I define who I am. So, define it, Melissa. I’m living as the woman I know I am: beautiful, intelligent, loving, insightful, intuitive, mystical. I have something to leave with the world, and I know it’ll reach who it’s meant to. I don’t want to focus anymore on the people who can’t or won’t see it.

On Being Misunderstood

I’m in my “hermit mode” — and honestly, that’s the best place for me right now. Maybe I have to be so locked in with my authentic self that being around others might distract me… or make me second-guess who I am. There’s no room for that anymore.

I’ve been learning to be okay with being misunderstood. I can’t keep explaining myself to everyone — either you get it or you don’t. My coach, Tayler, once told me that overexplaining is a disservice to myself. That stuck. Because being comfortable in discomfort means accepting that I can’t control how people see me. It doesn’t always feel good, but it’s real. We don’t get to edit other people’s perceptions — only how we hold space for ourselves through them.

My feminine energy reminds me that I can evolve and explore without guilt. If I try new things, it doesn’t mean I’m inconsistent. It means I’m alive, curious, and expanding. 

Holding Space for the Woman I Am

That’s what I’ve been working on — holding space for my greatness, even when others don’t see it. That’s why this journey of feminine energy means so much to me. It’s the energy that allows me to connect, express, and stay rooted in who I am.

I used to think being authentic meant being consistent. If I said strawberry yogurt was my favorite, then I had to always love strawberry yogurt — otherwise I wasn’t “real.” Now I see how silly that was. Authenticity isn’t about consistency — it’s about honesty.

My feminine energy reminds me that I can evolve and explore without guilt. If I try new things, it doesn’t mean I’m inconsistent. It means I’m alive, curious, and expanding. So, if someone labels me “wishy-washy,” I’m okay with that. As long as I know I’m moving from curiosity, not validation, that’s enough for me.

And with every step toward showing up whole and complete, I’ll uncover the “why.” 

Reclaiming My Worth

We often hesitate to hold space for our greatness because we fear someone might remind us of our flaws. But our worth isn’t tied to performance. Just because I struggle with indecision doesn’t mean I can’t make a decision. It just means I’m still learning.

And with every step toward showing up whole and complete, I’ll uncover the “why.” Maybe I’ll find that I learned to overthink because I feared being judged. Maybe I was trying to make decisions that pleased everyone but me. But I’m done doing that now.

I’m remembering me. And that’s more than enough.

Letter to You, Sis

If you’ve been forgetting your “fine” lately — your magic, your softness, your worth — I get it. Life, expectations, and survival mode can make us disconnect from our essence. But I hope you take a moment today to pause and remember:

You are worthy right now. You are beautiful right now. You are fine right now — even if you forgot.

🪶 Reflection Prompt:

Where in your life have you been forgetting your “fine”? What parts of you deserve to be remembered, celebrated, and held?

🌕 If this letter spoke to you…

Join me inside The Soft N’ Black Collective, where we’re learning how to feel safe in our authenticity and reconnect with our feminine energy through softness, truth, and sisterhood.

And if you’re ready to go deeper, book a free 20-minute clarity call with me to begin your own journey of coming home to yourself.

Because Sis, it’s safe to remember who you are — and it’s even safer to stay her.