Finding My Natural Flow| Letters From Her Mind

A striking beach portrait of Melissa Renee, embracing the summer breeze in an elegant black ensemble by the ocean.

Hey Sis!

I’ve been feeling motivated and inspired as of late. I’ve seen growth and results and it’s all because I’ve actually been doing what I’ve been struggling to do. You may know what that is because as black women we’ve all struggled with this at one point or another. It’s resting and taking things slowly. For reasons that would take a whole other blog to get into, we as black women, are overly concerned with making sure everything goes accordingly. We don’t allow ourselves to rest and trust that it’s all going to work itself out.

Taking the time to sit with my discomfort and not try to fix it allowed me to begin to find my natural flow.

I was busting my ass jogging 3 miles a day, strength training workouts, and drinking my protein shakes all for me to gain weight and not lose any. I was posting and engaging on social media only for my engagement to become stagnant. All while losing sight of why I was doing these things in the first place. Because I wasn’t seeing any results I found myself becoming resistant, uninspired, and exhausted. But I didn’t give up or even contemplated the idea. I told myself to take a moment and just sit with my feelings. This is when I realized that I need to become comfortable with my discomfort. I share how I came to this revelation and how I was able to do so in the previous “Letters From Her Mind”.

Taking the time to sit with my discomfort and not try to fix it allowed me to begin to find my natural flow. It allowed my actions to flow with what I needed to do at the moment rather than forcing myself to do what it is I felt I needed to do. This reminds me of the line “What you need ironically, will turn out what you want to be.. If you just let it” in the song ‘When It Hurts So Bad’ by Lauryn Hill. It’s the sentiment that if we allow ourselves to focus on what it is that we need, it will essentially be what it is that we wanted all along. Sitting with myself and just allowing myself to reveal what needs were being unmet had me redirect my attention internally rather than externally.

I was pushing myself harder and harder because I was attaching my progress with results.

When we allow ourselves to slow down we focus less on the outcome and results and more on what we have going on within. With me slowing down I decided to walk my dog every morning after sending the children off to school. It’s something I actually did four years ago when I lost a lot of weight. I didn’t tie in my weight-loss with me walking the dog. I always assumed it was because I walked everyday. So when I started back walking every morning with my husband and I wasn’t burning the fat and calories like I’ve done prior, I assumed I wasn’t doing enough. So I went from walking a mile to a mile and a half, to 2 miles to jogging 3 miles. 

I was pushing myself harder and harder because I was attaching my progress with results. All the while it was just the low impact of walking my dog that actually helped me lose weight. I wasn’t stressing my body with intense, high-impact cardio sending the message that we’re under duress by raising my cortisol levels. It was when I took the time to dedicate time walking my dog by being present and intentional when I went from 158 to 154 pounds. It’s when I decided to go back to drinking my herbal teas in the morning while I write in my journal that I started to focus less on what wasn’t working and I started to focus on what I could control or influence. 

I am a woman who’s officially in her Soft Woman Era.

I begin to be able to implement my schedule I created instead of putting it off. Now, I’m still getting adjusted to my schedule. I struggle with focusing on what I scheduled instead of trying to do everything I believe needs to be done. However, this is a measurement to say how I’m still finding the balance and flow between my masculine and feminine energy. I’m finding the flow between allowing what I can’t control and controlling what I can. I’m learning my ebbs and flow of my life with ease and joy.

The lesson that constantly keeps showing up on my feminine energy journey is not focusing on the end results. It’s how to be present in your authenticity. How to be present with authentic joy, passion, happiness, harmony, balance, confidence, and everything that allows me to be in my natural flow. Feminine energy is so many things but right now I’m in the chapter of being in my natural flow and enjoying every bit of it. It’s me knowing that everything I desire, need, or want I already have.

I am a woman who’s officially in her Soft Woman Era. I am allowing my natural flow to guide me with purpose, healing, confidence, and passion. I’m no longer forcing or focusing on the results because I know the results are here. It’s already come to fruition. So let this be a reminder or message that what you’re chasing, pushing, proving, or forcing to happen doesn’t require any of those things. You already have it. It’s already yours. And once you truly believe that you’ll move with a pace that will allow you to embody every essence of it. You’ll start to see that your reality is what you desire and watch it unfold before your eyes.

“I am allowing my natural flow to guide me with purpose, healing, confidence, and passion.”

What areas in your life aren’t you seeing results? In those areas are you flowing or are you forcing?

Join Attract Your Tribe Community and begin your feminine energy journey with support and guidance. Share. Grow. Connect.